Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Dirty Thirty
Well, some of you know already that for my thirtieth Birthday I decided it is time to grab hold of life and accomplish all those things I've said I will do one day.
It all started back in April when I picked up a book at the library that had an interesting cover. Just a silly novel to be entertained by. In the book a woman dies & someone finds a list she had made of 20 things to do before she is 25. She dies at 24 with many things left to do so the woman who finds it completes the list for her.
Quick read..nothing life shattering...
..it really got me thinking about my life.
I feel like I have been sitting stagnant waiting for life to happen to me instead of taking control and creating my life. It has been a rough couple of years & I have fallen deeply into a rut that I am glad to say I have finally crawled out of! I will not be posting my list anywhere but I decided that as I check things off it might be fun to share & blog about the experience. Some of the things are fun things I've always wanted to learn..some are very personal & emotional..some are HUGE life changes. All are important to me. I hope to be able to look back on this list on my 31st Birthday with a huge sense of accomplishment & who knows what I will learn in the process...So far, a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The first thing I checked off...
17. Get Child Support
I have put the "child support issue" off for years. For some reason going through the court systems seemed so unnecessary to me. Why can't we all just get along and do what is right for our children? I tried..I spent the last few years working with Kyle..letting him contribute when he can..working on a visitation schedule with him..keeping an open mind...but when things came up it was so easy for him to say.."oh, I'll get ya next week." or "I'm running low on cash right now." or "fill in the blank" so many other frustrating excuses..and as this last year has proven, he has chosen to see his kids less and less as he is settling into a new relationship & family of his own. So here they are left behind & neglected of his fatherly duties..enough is enough. Last week, on that very rainy Friday afternoon, we met at the courthouse in Valpo & got everything in order. Weekly child support garnished from his wages..insurance..tuition..visitation schedules..medical expenses...DONE. Wow..what a relief..what a light feeling I had walking out of that courtroom...no more arguing..no more having to ask..no more of him holding it over my head if we needed money for new shoes or sports uniforms...DONE..FINISHED..OVER. I feel like I have control over a huge part of my life again.
Why didn't I do it sooner...no need to look to the past.
As Maya Angelou once wrote, "I looked behind me & I didn't like the road I was on. I looked ahead of me and didn't like the road I was headed down so I turned to the left and made a new road of my own."
I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.
Life is Good and this woman has taken control again.